Add / Adhd Children : Being Your Childs Best Friend
|
|
Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If so-- my hat is off to you! ADD / ADHD children are brilliant, full of energy, smart as a whip (as grandma says), and tons of work. They are also the rising sun and the setting star: meaning much of life revolves around them in one way or another. One tactic you might employ is to: be your child's best friend.
Hear me out just a bit. I am not promoting parents in "jammies" all day-- everyday, messy homes filled with increasing whirlwind clutter that no-one attends to, nor hot dogs and pizza nightly just to avoid more arguing with an ADD / ADHD child. I am suggesting the reminder we all need with these special needs children: keep perspective.
And yes-- try thinking along the lines of being best friends with your child.
Best friends are people who look out for the best interest of another.
Best friends have a special tolerance for each other.
Best friends set aside time to truly know each other and how each other thinks and feels.
Best friends stand up for one-another, for their rights, their feelings, their health, and their needs.
Best friends look forward to more time together.
Best friends cherish each other dearly.
Best friends also speak the truth and help guide each other along the journey of life together.
Here are more simple reminders that we easily forget when caught up in our daily grind. I hope they will help from time to time with your ADD / ADHD parenting:
- Remember to keep the rules-- but not TOO many rules all at once... all the time!
- Schedule FUN
- Stop being organized now and then to ad-lib and make delight shine for you both again!
- Yes-- even with medicated kids some days are suddenly going to be worse than others.
- This is physiological-- remember?
- You are the expert in his/her eyes. Provide correction and consequences accordingly.
- Use notebooks, or better yet email, to communicate with the teacher daily.
- It is no fun for the ADD / ADHD child to be "wrong" or in trouble so much of the day-- catch him/her being good!!
- With young ADD / ADHD children try picture charts on the wall for daily routines to follow.
- Your child needs extra reminders, extra chances, extra love, and extra encouragement (so do you!!)
- Read The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.
- Know the educational rights in your school district and utilize each and every one of them :-)
- Be patient with the child, your mate, and especially yourself.
- Tenderness and politeness goes a long way with these precious ones.
- These kids love to be helpful-- utilize it, just don't seek perfection :-)
and finally:
- * DON'T go It ALONE! Enlist the help of extended family, friends, neighbors, associates, playmate families, medical professionals, and perhaps a coach for sanity.
Two myths that existed when I was a child:
- The first was that the parents were always right and had all the answers.
- The second one was that "You can have it all, baby".
Well, as a parent-- I know the first is NOT true. And as a working mom-- the second is out the door as well (or at least the romanticized fantasy version of it is).
- You are a parent-- do your best.
- Learn every day.
- Ask for forgiveness.
- And cherish this relationship.
You can design your life-- You are a parent, and an individual. You have to pick and choose which elements will be incorporated within it, and, how you want it to run.
Your child needs love, fun, consideration, truth, honesty, openness, and the gentle/firm guidance that best friend's can give without damaging or straining the relationship. You already have so many different hats to wear all day for your various roles. Being your child's best friend might simplify some of that. Give it a try.
Enjoy these years and enjoy your ADD / ADHD child !!!!
Until next time--- all the best,
Kate
About The Author
Kate Hufstetler is a well established business & personal coach who has helped many individuals like yourself to beat "the blues" and gain control over their lives. Through personal and business mentorship, she could help you! Visit more of Kate's articles here: http://www.comedreamwithme.com & http://mindpower.smartads.info
|
|
|
Trip, Trip, Trip... Here Is Your Night Visitor Again!
Night Visits From Your ChildIn the middle of the night you hear, trip, trip, trip and your bedroom door opens. It's not hard to imagine who it is and when you feel your little one climbing into your bed, you are sure.Rest assured, this behavior is both common and h...(related: Parenting)
Adhd: Some Survival Strategies For Parents
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested Survival Strategies for parents, and then asked readers to contribute some of their thoughts or tips. Since this newsletter is already running pretty long, I'll only list a few of them below. Thank you to all of you who contributed!
Laugh. Be silly with your kids. Humor is a life saver with 'high-impact' children. --Laurie O'
I really enjoyed your newsletter. I am a School Psychologist and find your information valuable. I also taught Learning Disabled children for many year-some of them ADD or ADHD. I used to suggest to my parents to organize little boxes filled with activities for those "I'm Bored" times. Each box should have a different activity-sometimes having specific directions-sometimes permitting the child to be creative with whatever is in the box. (This is kin...(related: Parenting)
Americas Public Schools --- Deteriorating Like They Did In Ancient Rome
The citizens of the early Roman Republic enjoyed an education system similar to ancient Athens. It was voluntary and parents paid tutors or schools directly. There was very little government interference, so a vibrant education free market of tutors, schools, and apprenticeships developed.One aspect of Roman society that compromised their education system was that Roman parents wanted their children to learn knowledge that only Greek teachers could provide. However, most Greeks in Rome at the time were slaves.As a result, th...(related: Parenting)
Reclaiming Her Identity: A Mothers Diary
After giving up my profession to become a wife, a mother of one, then suddenly seven made life very taxing for me. I soon came face to face with a challenging question. How did my identity become so obscure that I lost track of my hopes and dreams? Believing that I did not have any time left in my hectic schedule to accomplish my goals, I slowly began to lose perspective of whom and what I was about. My life became filled with doctor's appointments, therapy sessions, counseling, grocery shopping, laundry, house cleaning, dance classes and swimming lessons.I anticipated my various new roles but they were not quite the way I imagined them. Adopting four children seemed like a really noble idea but the reality was that its profound vertig...(related: Parenting)
Its Ok For Your Child To Be Bored - In Fact, Its Recommended!
NY -- Strange as it may sound, bordom promotes happier, creative kids who are better problem solvers. When children use their own creativity with unstructured play, they find ways to amuse themselves -- even if it means simply daydreaming.That's the advice of child development expert, Alan M. Hess who wants to see American children spend more time in unstructured play, less time in structured activities and much less time in front of mindless TV programs. Hess states, "Plain and simple, it's called creative child development. I recognize that in our society, it's a hard concept for peopke to grasp at first."Many American parents who work 60 to 70 hours a week impose a very structured lifestyle on their children. They're con...(related: Parenting)
Book Review: how To Get Your Child To Love Reading
How to Get Your Child to Love Reading was conceived when author Esmé Raji Codell was staring at a shriveled potato that was sprouting eyes. She wondered, " . . . if I had a potato, nothing but a potato, how could I teach a classroom full of children? Well, I could cut a potato in half. (I can use the paring knife from my own kitchen, right?) We could review fractions. With one half, I could cut a design and do potato prints. We could plant the eyes from the other half of the potato (it can have eyes, right?) and grow more potatoes, charting their growth." The ideas cascade: writing a story about a potato, making a book of potato recipes or potato poems, making potato stamps of all the letters, teaching reading, getting books from the library about potatoes, talking about the Irish potato famine...(related: Parenting)
Teaching Reading : Part Two
We know that you want your little guy or gal to have the best start. The greatest thing you can do ...(related: Parenting)
Can Mineral Deficiencies Lead To Behavioral Problems In Children?
A while ago I received this story from David in England, who wrote:
I am following your work with great interest as I am trying to get more information about the subject of ADD / ADHD for a friend of mine who was put in charge of such a child at school. She was given no training for this work nor was she given any backup. She was relieved to find that she was not the only one with this problem!
Although the child has finally been moved to another specialized school, it is likely that she will meet the problem again and so I am forwarding any relevant information to her that I can find.
Best regards, and carry on the good work,
David
Attached was a story from the Sunday Times of London, dated July, 1997. The headline read, "Zinc Diet Reduces Violence in Youths" written by Steve Connor,a Science...(related: Parenting)
Some Good News About Blended Families
They Spur Members To Grow EmotionallyTatiana Tannenbaum grappled with a classic stepfamily struggle when she moved from Moscow, Russia to Portland, Ore. and married Leb Tannenbaum: Her three new stepsons weren't very happy to have her in their lives.To earn her stepsons' acceptance, she cooked Russian meals, which the boys rejected. At times, she spoke English and felt as if no one understood her. It seemed all her efforts to win them over failed, she says.Finally, she realized she had to love herself and accept the fact that her stepsons might never connect with her, she says. Once she embraced...(related: Parenting)
How To Teach Children Loyalty And Dependability
Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many people care more about themselves than others and do what they like with little consideration for people whom may be affected by their action. It is quite a sad thing. You can see that there are is a general lack of loyalty and commitment to people own belongings. For example,increasing number of adultery cases (a lack of loyalty to family and spouse)vandalism...(related: Parenting)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | Baby Care Info | All Rights Reserved. | Parenting